5 ways being an otaku could help you survive a zombie outbreak

Thanks linkBaitGenerator heh heh heh...

So there you are in the suburbs of New Jersey (just visiting of course) and the power goes out. Cell phones don't work, and a mob of undead can be seen slowly roaming the streets, ever closer to you otaku lair...

zombie attack... evacuate!

Let's start with getting to know the enemy...

  • Zombies have very infectuous bodily fluids.
  • Zombies do not breathe.
  • Zombies feel no pain.
  • Zombies lack the ability to use items (tools, weapons, door handles, etc).
  • Zombies are emotionless.
  • Zombies can only be "killed" by destroying the brain.
  • Zombies are not susceptable to "holy items" or "prayer".
  • Zombies will alert other zombies through their moans and wails.
  • Zombies do not heal.
  • Zombies are poor climbers.
  • Zombies are relatively slow due to poor muscle coordination.
  • Zombies do not appear to use their circulatory system.
  • Zombies appear to repulse almost all living creatures (including bacteria).
  • Zombies never fear.

I've highlighted the ones most likely to come in handy =D

5 ways being an otaku could help you survive a zombie outbreak

  1. A Katana is very effective is cutting a zombie head in half. You have some of those lyin around right?

from uncyclopedia:

Katana: Meant to slice a zombies head clean off there shoulders rather then trying to stab them to death. Cuts through dead (And live people alike) like a hot knife through butter, don't forget to keep your blade clean by spinning it in your hand and fanning the blood everywhere like a bad ass.

  1. A large Pocky reserve can give you that energy boost you need for that half mile sprint to the nearest safe point.

  2. Cosplay is great practice at doing makeup. Any experienced cosplayer could easily whip up a zombie costume in a half hour and fit in with the hoard. Just don't let them see you eating anything other than brains.

    Zombie Cosplay

  3. Speaking of eating... it's a good thing you've acquired a taste for sushi, because eating raw fish will - instead of outing you - just make the other zombies will think you're just one of the dumber ones. Make sure to gnaw on it for a while before swallowing.

  4. Every otaku is sure to have a plentiful a supply of clumsy friends...

    Clumsy Friends

Anyway... good luck to you. For the record, I just got a gym membership to make sure I'll be able to run faster than you ;)

7 years, 4 months ago
jim
6516 2 4 11

4 replies (reply)

3

This is why I bought a shotgun and got my motorcycle license ;)

7 years, 4 months ago
sasha
1409 2 10
2

Yeah, it's a good thing I've got a lot of pocky-loving, clumsy, friends. heh heh... JK!!! XD Great post! :)

7 years, 4 months ago
maria
6567 1 5 10
1

Nothing better than strolling down a street in a suit of armor punching out zombies.

7 years, 3 months ago
False_Messiah
1809 1 9
1

I'll lend you some of the kids in my class. ):P

5 years, 8 months ago
kawaiiotaku
476 6

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March 16, 2010

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