Is it shallow to want a Japanese boyfriend?

Please, answer this question. I've been through countless blogs about girls asking to get a Japanese boyfriend and they get called shallow or people say that they must be ugly. How is that true? What if they don't know how to approach them. I mean, I really want a Japanese boyfriend! Is it do wrong to be a girl and attracted to Asians!? I hope not, because a lot of dudes have Asian fetishes. It's, like, not cool. My problems are 1) I don't know where to meet one and 2) I wouldn't know how to approach one. ;^^ Yeah, pretty spineless. I know. It won't stop me from talking to someone else I think is cute or interesting, but I'd much rather date a Japanese guy. Thank you for taking your time to read this. I'm not really sure if this is what I'm supposed to be using this site for.

7 years, 7 months ago
otakuintraining
495 1 1 9

14 replies (reply)

5

It is one thing to be interested in the prospect of dating someone different or possibly having similar hobbies as you, but I think the entire thing is misleading.

I, for one, do not care about race because, to me, any genetic ancestry can produce physically appealing people. Even so, I don't actively look for girls who are Asian because it isn't at all about genetics to me. It is about someone who is interesting and I get along with on several levels.

If anything, it seems close-minded to say "I only date black guys" or "I'm into Asian chicks". While this is true to many, this is still your sexual preference and others can not dictate your innate urges. My advice is two-fold:

  1. Don't get your heart set on dating an Asian guy. Many of the old-world "rules" of dating people who look similar to you are largely in effect. These social concepts don't really go against nature, but they clearly aren't adventageous for your situation.

  2. Avoid narrowing your search down. You are still VERY young, and most people older than you still don't know what they want. Dating is just another life experience that helps you both find out who you are and who you are really looking for. Try to be open-minded despite such a closed-off world that we live in.

7 years, 7 months ago
GooieGreen
6097 3 4 10
5

As someone who's lived in Japan, and seen a few cross-cultural/racial relationships up close, let me say a couple of things:

1) The real Japan isn't anything like it is in anime. I like the real Japan, but for reasons completely unrelated to the world you see in anime, or in asian dramas, or J-pop videos. If you're looking for an "anime guy/guy like in J-drama", you'll never find him - not any more than some guy who wants to date a girl from an anime or love sim game will.

2) Make sure, when you're dating someone of another race or culture, that you're dating the person, and not their race or culture. In other words, make sure it's them that you like, not some idea of what they represent.

I say this because it seems from what you're saying that you really are just in love with Japanese culture, or at least your perceptions of it. That's really dangerous, because if that's really what's going on, and you start a relationship with some guy based on that, your romance will be sad and disillusioning for both sides.

7 years, 7 months ago
GTPodcast
1501 1 6
4

It doesn't matter whether it's shallow or not; what matters is whether or not it makes you happy.

Don't forget what the point of dating is!

If you're set on a Japanese guy, don't forget that there are a lot of articles and polls about what Japanese guys like. Here are some articles about the current Japanese male mindset:

http://www.slate.com/id/2220535/

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2004-06-02-japan-women-usat_x.htm

According to one poll, the Japanese man would most like to date the following professions: model, health care professional (doctor/nurse), stewardess, entertainer, childcare worker, beautician, voice actress (seiyuu), fashion industry worker, and hostess. Essentially, they like women that are attractive and nurturing.

There are other articles that deal with the adult details of a relationship, and how they differ in Japan, but if your profile age is accurate, you probably won't have to worry about that for a while. Just be aware as you grow older that those details are different, too, and may require extra effort at communication.

7 years, 7 months ago
moritheil
924 1 9
3

Is it shallow? not really. But the previous posters are right, make sure you like the guy for him and not his culture. You could always try the persoanl section on Japan Probe.

I've always had a weakness for Asian women. This was in me before my love of anime fully awakened, never quite sure where it came from.

7 years, 7 months ago
Guyver4
731 1 7
2

You may, however, want to buy this:

http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/japanese-t-shirt-looking-for-a-japanese-boyfriend-fitted-tee

7 years, 7 months ago
GTPodcast
1501 1 6
2

Anyhow, instead of looking for a Japanese boyfriend, why not work on making yourself more moé?

Self-improvement is never a bad thing.

7 years, 7 months ago
GTPodcast
1501 1 6
1

Uhm... I'm assuming you're female...

7 years, 7 months ago
GTPodcast
1501 1 6
1

Is it shallow? No. A bit ridiculous that you want a boyfriend based on his nationality over who he may be as a person? Yes, very ridiculous. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

6 years, 8 months ago
Pyramus
201 1 5
1

No! I understand you I have a Japanese boyfriend and he's so sweet and adorable. I love Asian guys for some reason too and It's your preference and your business so don't mind what other people say. Good luck!

6 years, 7 months ago
giorgistqmxx
11 1
0

dw im the same, but i found a way to meet hot japanese guys.

best thing to do is go to a uni and do a course that all asian guys do like business or maths! about 90% are asian on those courses at my uni, then you can flirt til ur hearts content. :D

6 years, 9 months ago
chloem1
11
0

ofc thats in the future if ur only young now but something to work towards :D

6 years, 9 months ago
chloem1
11
0

NO IT IS NOT SHALLOW!!!!!!!!!! I WANT A JAPANESE BOYFRIEND TOO (i am NOT dissing my current boyfriend because he's an otaku too)

7 years, 6 months ago
QueenOfYaoi
825 8
0

well once you get a Japanese boyfriend, you should get this t-shirt ^^ you'll be proud*0^

http://www.cafepress.com/datejapanese

7 years, 6 months ago
ninjakid
1
0

It is SMART to want a Japanese boyfriend. Japanese guys are educated and rich.

5 years, 11 months ago
p
1 2

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Jan. 17, 2010

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