How to catch and train an Otaku

Let me guess - You want to be the very best, that no one ever was?

Well listen up whippersnappers! Catching your first Weeaboo will be your real test! Training it will be your cause!

You will travel across the land - searching far and wide. Each Weeaboo will understand the power that's inside!

How to Catch and Train an Otaku

Catching a Weeaboo is tricky - you'll have to head into their natural habitat. The Professor might give you your first Weeaboo, but last time I checked he only had three and he'd given them all away.

So head north and wander around in the tall grass for a while.

Also, I don't have any Otakuballs (gross) for you - so I guess just try to pounce on one. Be careful! They're dangerous beasts!

I know! I'll tell you a little bit about where Weeaboos come from! That should help you catch one :)

Contrary to popular belief, there is actually a phase of life before the Weeaboo evolves into a Weeaboo. It is formally known as the hard-working-productive-member-or-societilufagus but you can call them the Unwashed Masses for short ;)

Otaku Phase 1

Phase 1: Unwashed Masses

Very little change occurs when the Unwashed Masses evolve into a Weeaboo and it often happens naturally or as a result of the cartoon network.

You will notice the Weeaboo remains unwashed and continues to primarily watch Pokemon and Naruto, though sailor moon is occasionally observed in the wild.

Otaku Phase 2

Phase 2: Weeaboo

You will need to train up your Weeaboo if you want to be a contender, but you can only evolve your Weeaboo into a Full Otaku by giving them an Elemental Stone.

Elemental Stones

There are 6 elemental stones you can give your Weeaboo and each will cause them to evolve into a different kind of Otaku.

You don't HAVE to give then an elemental stone, but they will never evolve naturally. It takes an external force to make then grow up into a full Otaku.

Glossary of Elemental Stones

Fire Stone

The Fire Otaku is hot!

Hot headed, likely to disobey you, and enter into Foam Sword Fighting contests. In good shape and quite attractive.

Water Stone

The Water Otaku bathes

I highly reccomend this element. It makes living with her much more tolerable.

Thunder Stone

Thunder Otakus are coloquially known as Mecha heads

A little overbearing, but if you keep your hands off their gundam models you should be safe

Great WoW RAID buddies ^_^

Leaf Stone

The Green Otaku

They're a pain to take care of, and cost a fortune to feed.

It's better to know somebody who has one and meet up for the rave at cons

Moon Stone

The Moontaku - most common

Stays up all night watching anime or reading manga.

Nobody really wants a Moontaku because they have no special powers.

Moon stones are found in caves, and weeaboos find them by accident. C'est la vie :/

Sun Stone

Suntaku - the opposite of Moontaku

Remains awake during daylight hours and finds sunlight pleasurable

The only known Otaku Capable of evolving further. They can evolve back into a hard-working-productive-member-or-societilufagus.

Editors Note: Suntaku that evolve back into unwashed masses are 68% more likely to evolve into a Weeaboo than other UMs

What kind of Otaku Are You?

I hope all this research helps you fill out your Otakudex! Good luck!

7 years, 9 months ago
jim
6516 2 4 11

8 replies (reply)

3

Should I feed them rare candies?

7 years, 9 months ago
The_Bug
666 1 1 7
3

I WANT A WEEABOO! Are you sure you don't have any OtakuBalls lying around, Jim? LOL

7 years, 9 months ago
Kayla
3944 2 11
3

Someone give me a Water Stone, I need to evolve!

7 years, 6 months ago
DarkIceXIII
1071 1 7
2

This is why I love you. lol

7 years, 9 months ago
sasha
1409 2 10
2

I want an Otakudex!!! Hmmm...who will be my first weeaboo?? I think I'd like a fire otaku or moontaku. The fire otaku would be nice because then I could sword fight them...always loved foam sword fights. But I think my moontaku would be my best pal us them we could stay up late watching anime together! Sounds like fun to me...now where do I find the stones???

7 years, 9 months ago
maria
6567 1 5 10
2

I feel like blogger otaku deserve their own type. I guess we fit under Fire, since we rant a lot and get into Internet arguments!

7 years, 9 months ago
moritheil
924 1 9
2

OMG! I HAVE A WEABOO! SHE IS BEING EVOLVED INTO A SUNTAKU AND THEN INTO A MOONTAKU LIKE ME! HER NAME IS REBECCA AND SHE IS GOING TO HER FIRST CON THIS YEAR! THIS IS THE LAST STEP I NEED TO GET HER OVER THE DEEP-END AND INTO FULL-FLEDGED OTAKU-NESS! SHE IS EVEN COSPLAYING! A GAME CHARACTER BUT IT IS A J-RPG!

7 years, 7 months ago
MsQueenofjapan
3210 2 2 9
2

I'm slowly training a hard-working-productive-member into an otaku. I've already taught her an absurd amount of Naruto trivia (she knows who Zetsu is! Yay!). I believe that the next step is tying her to a chair, taping her eyes open, and forcibly showing her anime?

7 years, 5 months ago
GaaraNeeds2LOL
1141 5

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Oct. 22, 2009

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